WHAT IS JUDGEMENT?
Judgement is getting overcome by our thoughts and
reactions to a person, place, situation or even ourselves. It is often
associated with feelings of anger or frustration as it is usually a reaction to
something we are opposed to or offended by. We may hear ourselves saying
“should” or “should not” or making huge generalisations like “all ........ are
........”. Judgement points the finger of blame and assumes you know the
outcome of events. Self judgement involves criticism, “I am” statements and
feelings of guilt, remorse or regret.
Judgement closes us off from hearing other points of view
and from looking at things from a different perspective. It severs connection
to our heart and our inner self.
LETTING GO OF JUDGEMENT
Not judging ourselves, people, things or situations does
not mean having no opinion, no discernment or no emotional response. Letting go
of judgements means getting out of our head and away from our learned
reactions. To stop judging everything as right or wrong and stepping back to
consider the bigger picture. No longer only seeing black and white but allowing ourselves to view the whole rainbow.
CONSIDER
THIS...
A person is stuck in traffic and will probably be late for a 9am meeting.
There are 2 ways this situation could be approached:
1.
Judgemental
Reaction
“This #@%!
traffic should be going faster, I’m going to be late for my meeting. There’s
obviously a lot of women drivers on the road – they’re all totally useless and
shouldn’t be allowed out during peak hour. I’m so stupid I should have left
earlier.”
This reaction - allocates blame “women
drivers”
- generalises “they’re all totally useless”
-
includes shoulds and should nots “should
be going faster”
“shouldn’t be allowed out”
- predicts
outcome “I’m going to be late”
- judges
self “I’m so stupid”
Think of the physical and emotional reaction the person
with these beliefs is having to the situation and how they are likely to arrive
at the meeting.
2.
Non-judgemental Response
“The traffics really slow this morning, I’m worried I’ll be late for
the meeting. I think I’ll pull over at the next street to call work and let
them know.”
This reaction - has opinion “traffics really
slow”
- feels emotion “worried about being late”
- uses discernment “I think I’ll pull over and call work”
How may this person arrive at the meeting?
Now these 2 situations are the same with the same
probable outcome ie. arriving late for the meeting. However, one is experienced
with judgement and one without.
Which experience would you choose?
Which do you choose?
ONE LAST NOTE
Having judgement can make us think we have power and
control over a situation – we have pointed the finger of blame (at self and
others) and we have decided the way things should or should not be, but using
the previous example we can see that by doing this we have actually lost
control, we have handed it over and become a victim of the situation.
So next time you notice yourself reacting with judgement
– hear negative self talk, generalisations or place blame, ask yourself
“Who said?” “Is what I’m saying here actually true?”
“How could I view this differently?” “Is this really how I want to react, feel
and be?”
Answer with your heart, your deep inner truth, not your
head. Reword any negative self talk instantly and notice the physical and
emotional changes you have just created for yourself –
Breathe, free yourself from judgement and see the rainbow.
Wishing you health, harmony and happiness
Kylie and Leanne
