I just want to BE HAPPY!

How often have you heard someone say "I just want to be happy"?
How often have you said it yourself?

It's a common desire and one you would think, living in this beautiful land of plenty, we would be able to achieve. However, for many people happiness is illusive. Sure we may have fleeting moments of happiness and future happy times we look forward to, but overall, day to day, how happy are you?

On a scale of 1 - 10 (10 being extremely happy) where would rate your happiness? 
Now to clarify here I'm not asking about "facebook happiness", i.e. the outward portrayal of you having an enjoyable life, I'm talking about real happiness, when you're on your own with no distraction or mask - how happy are you?

Now using the same scale how happy are you with the following:
                - your job
                - your relationships
                - your family life
                - your financial situation
                - your self

Asking questions is the first step to finding answers. So if you find yourself saying "I just want to be happy" take this further by asking yourself questions about happiness, what it means for you and how you can bring it into your being.    

Wishing you health, harmony & happiness
Kylie

If this blog resonated with you and you "Just want to be happy" then please join "The Happy Bunch" - a weekly group that meets every Thursday for discussion, activities, self exploration, friendship and outings.

The group will implement ideas from the book'The Happiness Equation'  

by Bridget Grenville-Cleave and Ilona Boniwell, Ph.D.

If you'd like more information or to join please visit the Facebook group

 https://www.facebook.com/events/619237118242110/

or email me kylie@reclaimwellness.com.au

I look forward to seeing you there :)

Defensive Listening

Do you listen to respond, to instruct, to correct or do you listen to hear?

Often we listen defensively - to defend ourselves or others, to defend our ideas, our values or our beliefs.

We listen to have an opinion on what is being said so we can reply in agreeance or opposition, to support the speaker, to give advice, to let them know where they are right or wrong.

Sometimes this may be what the speaker is seeking - backup, support, constructive criticism or guidance, but often the speaker just wants to feelheard.

So today try to listen and just hear what someone else is saying. Silence your own judgement, opinions, advice and reflex replies. Stop listening to the voice in your head and really tune in to the voice of the speaker. Then show them that you heard them, show them that you understood and valued what they said (this can be as easy as saying "yeah I really hear what you're saying, it sounds like you feel ….… ").

How different does it feel to listen in this way? 

How different would it feel to be heard in this way?

Why not try it with a partner, friend, family member or workmate. Take it in turns to really listen to one another and see how it feels to truly listen and truly be heard.

And please if you don't have anyone in your life that you believe will truly listen to you and you feel a need to be heard give us a call on 0412 335 720 - we love to listen.

In health, harmony & happiness
Kylie

"A man's goodness is truly measured by what he is, not by what he does." 

This quote is from a novel I'm currently reading, and loving, by Deepak Chopra (who knew he wrote novels???).

The words are said by Merlin in response to King Arthur asking him what he should do to be a good King.

"There is nothing you need to do to be a good king", Merlin said
"A man's goodness is truly measured by what he is, not by what he does."
 

Often our lives revolve around what we do and what we need to get done. When we meet someone new we usually get asked "what do you do?", or people we know will often ask "what have you been doing lately?" but rarely, if ever, do we get asked what we are.

So that's my question for you today - What are you?

Happy ponderings
Kylie

Cycle of Life...

While walking my dog, Tuppi, this morning I noticed the flowers pictured above growing in my neighbours front lawn and was reminded once again of the cycle seen everywhere in our world.

From seemingly nothing something arises reaches full expression then ends.

This cycle can be seen in all things man made and all things in nature, in an idea, a project, a day and a life.

Trying to deny or fight against the cycle leads to feelings of anger, grief, sadness, worry or regret. Like when a loved one passes, a relationship ends or a project concludes before we're ready to let it go. We can feel stuck and imbalanced while we try to hang on to what was, not sure of ourselves, our purpose or our path.

But if we can learn to accept the cycle, letting go of the things that are blocking our acceptance and ideally even take some personal meaning from the process then we can start to move on to find our happiness, love, benevolence and peace once again.

Wishing you health, harmony & happiness
:) Kylie

Childhood lessons

Many, many years ago I was watching Oprah interview Madonna and the following discussion (as best as I can recall it) really stuck with me.

______________________________________________________________

Oprah: "What is the most important thing you are going to teach your daughter?"

Madonna: "Self-respect."

Oprah: "And what are you going to teach her about men?"

- here the audience giggled a bit, Madonna smiled slightly and responded with

"If I teach her self-respect, I don't have to teach her anything about men."
______________________________________________________________

I loved her answers then and I still love them now.

If you were asked the same question what would you reply? And if, like me, you don't have children what would you teach your child self?

In health, harmony & happiness
Kylie

 

Are you sympathetic or empathetic?

What's the difference between these 2 words and why does it matter?

I've heard many times over the years that it's more helpful to be empathetic than sympathetic but l never really understood the difference until I heard the following explanation.

Imagine you are on a boat with a friend who is seasick and throwing up. If you approach your friend with empathy you would hold their hair back, offer them a seasickness remedy or do something that shows you care. If you approach your friend with sympathy you would join them in their misery and start throwing up with them!

Empathy is understanding what your friend is going through, standing in their shoes and offering understanding and support. Sympathy is feeling what your friend is feeling and joining them in their response - it shows you understand their situation but offers little comfort or help.
 

Thinking of these 2 different ways of responding
Which would you like to receive?
Which do you give?

                        Yours empathetically

  Kylie and Leanne

      www.reclaimwellness.com.au  Phone: 0412 335 720

Pain, pain go away! Don't come again another day

What is pain and why do we experience it?

Pain is the bodies way of getting us to pay attention, to let us know something's not quite right - a prompt to make us do something different, to save ourself.
For example, when we step on a sharp object the nerves send a message to the brain to register the pain saying "pay attention something's not quite right", the brain then sends a message to the muscles to move the foot or step lighter telling us "to do something different" and the pain goes away…

Except when it doesn't!

What's that about?

Why do some of us have long held pain?
For example back pain that may have first occurred from a fall and over time the injury has healed from a medical perspective but the pain never really went away. Some days it's worse than others, sometimes things ease it and sometimes they don't.

Why is that?

What's going on there?

Doctors and scientists may have no answers to these questions but do you? Does your body that initially sent the pain message hold the answer on how to stop the pain message still being sent?
Of course it does - but you have "to pay attention, somethings not quite right" and I mean really pay attention to all of you because the body doesn't only send us pain to change our physical behaviour it also sends pain to get us to pay attention to our emotions, behaviours, thoughts and beliefs.
Think about when you're really sad particularly when you're trying to suppress your sadness and hold it in - any chest pain?
What about when you're stressed - any headaches or neck pain occur as a result?
What about feeling anger - do your muscles stiffen, your joints lock up?
All of these physical pains are warnings from our body to "pay attention something's not quite right" and to "do something different", because if you don't, overtime, your unexpressed sadness may show up as lung or breathing issues like asthma, cold/coughs or even pneumonia, your unresolved stress could turn into migraines, aneurysm or stroke, your constant feeling of anger or frustration may cause symptoms of arthritis, debilitating muscle pain or inflexibility.

So if you have any "unexplained" physical pain broaden your awareness. Look outside of only the physical and consider what emotions, behaviours, thoughts or beliefs may also be causing you pain, may also need you "to pay attention, somethings not quite right - do something different".

It's worth a try :)

Yours in health, harmony and happiness



If this newsletter has touched a chord in you but you are unsure how to heal your pain from this new level of understanding please call us because this is what we do - we help you get in touch with your body but also your mind and your spirit so you can access what it is you need to know "to pay attention to", to clear any blocks "the somethings that aren't quite right" and to choose new emotions, behaviours, thoughts or beliefs "to do something different" and reclaim wellness.