Are you sympathetic or empathetic?

What's the difference between these 2 words and why does it matter?

I've heard many times over the years that it's more helpful to be empathetic than sympathetic but l never really understood the difference until I heard the following explanation.

Imagine you are on a boat with a friend who is seasick and throwing up. If you approach your friend with empathy you would hold their hair back, offer them a seasickness remedy or do something that shows you care. If you approach your friend with sympathy you would join them in their misery and start throwing up with them!

Empathy is understanding what your friend is going through, standing in their shoes and offering understanding and support. Sympathy is feeling what your friend is feeling and joining them in their response - it shows you understand their situation but offers little comfort or help.
 

Thinking of these 2 different ways of responding
Which would you like to receive?
Which do you give?

                        Yours empathetically

  Kylie and Leanne

      www.reclaimwellness.com.au  Phone: 0412 335 720

Pain, pain go away! Don't come again another day

What is pain and why do we experience it?

Pain is the bodies way of getting us to pay attention, to let us know something's not quite right - a prompt to make us do something different, to save ourself.
For example, when we step on a sharp object the nerves send a message to the brain to register the pain saying "pay attention something's not quite right", the brain then sends a message to the muscles to move the foot or step lighter telling us "to do something different" and the pain goes away…

Except when it doesn't!

What's that about?

Why do some of us have long held pain?
For example back pain that may have first occurred from a fall and over time the injury has healed from a medical perspective but the pain never really went away. Some days it's worse than others, sometimes things ease it and sometimes they don't.

Why is that?

What's going on there?

Doctors and scientists may have no answers to these questions but do you? Does your body that initially sent the pain message hold the answer on how to stop the pain message still being sent?
Of course it does - but you have "to pay attention, somethings not quite right" and I mean really pay attention to all of you because the body doesn't only send us pain to change our physical behaviour it also sends pain to get us to pay attention to our emotions, behaviours, thoughts and beliefs.
Think about when you're really sad particularly when you're trying to suppress your sadness and hold it in - any chest pain?
What about when you're stressed - any headaches or neck pain occur as a result?
What about feeling anger - do your muscles stiffen, your joints lock up?
All of these physical pains are warnings from our body to "pay attention something's not quite right" and to "do something different", because if you don't, overtime, your unexpressed sadness may show up as lung or breathing issues like asthma, cold/coughs or even pneumonia, your unresolved stress could turn into migraines, aneurysm or stroke, your constant feeling of anger or frustration may cause symptoms of arthritis, debilitating muscle pain or inflexibility.

So if you have any "unexplained" physical pain broaden your awareness. Look outside of only the physical and consider what emotions, behaviours, thoughts or beliefs may also be causing you pain, may also need you "to pay attention, somethings not quite right - do something different".

It's worth a try :)

Yours in health, harmony and happiness



If this newsletter has touched a chord in you but you are unsure how to heal your pain from this new level of understanding please call us because this is what we do - we help you get in touch with your body but also your mind and your spirit so you can access what it is you need to know "to pay attention to", to clear any blocks "the somethings that aren't quite right" and to choose new emotions, behaviours, thoughts or beliefs "to do something different" and reclaim wellness.

January Newsletter and offer

The beginning of a new year often brings with it great plans for change. There's a feeling of renewal, beginning again, giving up old habits and focusing on what we want out of life.
If you've set yourself a New Year's Resolution and you're already seeing your commitment dwindling or you're feeling stuck and unsure of where to go from here we'd like to offer you a FREE 30 Minute Kinesiology Balance*. 
Kinesiology can help uncover what may be holding you back, highlighting and clearing the stress or concern being held in the body, mind and spirit, bringing about feelings of renewed passion, clarity and understanding.
Please call us on 0412 335 720 to book your appointment.
Wishing you health, harmony & happiness
Kylie & Leanne
  *Offer is only valid for one appointment per client and available from 19/1/16 - 29/01/16

December Newsletter "Joy"

The beginning of Summer marks the start of the fire element in Chinese 5 element theory and JOY is one of the main emotions linked to this element. So embrace JOY this month, try to see it everywhere you go, and if you can't see it try creating it for yourself and watch it spread to others.
 

JOY SHARED = JOY DOUBLED
 

Find it in the simple things - a child's smile, a sunrise, a flower, a "thank you".
See it, share it, be it.

In Health, Harmony & Happiness
Kylie & Leanne
 

Feeling Stuck?

FEELING STUCK?

Then ask yourself "What's my glue?"

What keeps you stuck - your job, your relationships, your mortgage, your self?

Are your thoughts, feeling, attitudes and behaviours keeping you stuck?

Are you unsure, unmotivated or uninspired?

Is fear your glue, has fear got you frozen in place?

Spend a moment pondering this today because if we don't know what is keeping us stuck we'll never know how to become unstuck!

‪#‎stuck‬ ‪#‎fear‬ ‪#‎unsure‬ ‪#‎unmotivated‬ ‪#‎uninspired‬ ‪#‎reclaim‬ ‪#‎wellness‬ ‪#‎kinesiology‬

Are you Indecisive? Yes, No, Maybe, Sometimes...

Are you indecisive?
I guess if you are you would have difficulty answering that question.
But seriously even if we don't label ourselves as indecisive in general, there are time in our lives when we all struggle to make decisions - big or small, important or insignificant.

We can decide on the spur of the moment to make a major change in our life but we can also spend over an hour trying to decide what to wear. There can be periods in our life when every decision comes easily or where every choice is painstakingly overthought and difficult. Or you may be someone who makes important, snap decisions all day at work but when it comes to your personal life you second guess everything.

What's going on with us during those times of indecision? What changes?

Factors that influence the decision making process include -
                 * predicted outcomes / benefits
                 * impact on self and others
                 * confidence
                 * possiblities / resources

We usually make choices that we believe will benefit ourselves and/or others, that we feel confident in doing and that are possible to achieve with the resources we have available to us.

So when we are struggling to make a decision there is uncertainty in at least one of these areas, and this uncertainty stems from fear.
Fear of  - making the wrong choice
               - hurting ourselves or others
               - not having enough (time, money, knowledge etc)
               - embarrassment / judgement
               - rejection
Fear that we may not benefit from the outcome of our decisions.

How to overcome the fear...
Try to ease the pressure on yourself when you're feeling indecisive by reminding yourself that no decision guarantees an outcome. If the decision you make does not create the result you desired decide to try something new.

Don't be too attached to any decision, instead make the choice that feels right for you and let that play out, go with the flow and decide how you choose to react to whatever arises (this is truly all you have control over anyway).

And remember if it feels too hard to make a decision so you end up do nothing instead - deciding to do nothing is still a decision that you've made.

Free Yourself From Judgement

WHAT IS JUDGEMENT?

Judgement is getting overcome by our thoughts and reactions to a person, place, situation or even ourselves. It is often associated with feelings of anger or frustration as it is usually a reaction to something we are opposed to or offended by. We may hear ourselves saying “should” or “should not” or making huge generalisations like “all ........ are ........”. Judgement points the finger of blame and assumes you know the outcome of events. Self judgement involves criticism, “I am” statements and feelings of guilt, remorse or regret.

Judgement closes us off from hearing other points of view and from looking at things from a different perspective. It severs connection to our heart and our inner self.

LETTING GO OF JUDGEMENT

Not judging ourselves, people, things or situations does not mean having no opinion, no discernment or no emotional response. Letting go of judgements means getting out of our head and away from our learned reactions. To stop judging everything as right or wrong and stepping back to consider the bigger picture. No longer only seeing black and white but allowing ourselves to view the whole rainbow.

CONSIDER THIS...

A person is stuck in traffic and will probably be late for a 9am meeting. There are 2 ways this situation could be approached:

1.       Judgemental Reaction

“This #@%! traffic should be going faster, I’m going to be late for my meeting. There’s obviously a lot of women drivers on the road – they’re all totally useless and shouldn’t be allowed out during peak hour. I’m so stupid I should have left earlier.”

This reaction  - allocates blame “women drivers”

                      - generalises “they’re all totally useless”

                                  - includes shoulds and should nots “should be going faster” 
                                                                                      “shouldn’t be allowed out”
                                  - predicts outcome “I’m going to be late”
                                  - judges self “I’m so stupid”

Think of the physical and emotional reaction the person with these beliefs is having to the situation and how they are likely to arrive at the meeting.

2.       Non-judgemental Response

“The traffics really slow this morning, I’m worried I’ll be late for the meeting. I think I’ll pull over at the next street to call work and let them know.”

This reaction - has opinion “traffics really slow”

                    - feels emotion “worried about being late”

                    - uses discernment “I think I’ll pull over and call work”

How may this person arrive at the meeting?

Now these 2 situations are the same with the same probable outcome ie. arriving late for the meeting. However, one is experienced with judgement and one without.

Which experience would you choose?

Which do you choose?

ONE LAST NOTE

Having judgement can make us think we have power and control over a situation – we have pointed the finger of blame (at self and others) and we have decided the way things should or should not be, but using the previous example we can see that by doing this we have actually lost control, we have handed it over and become a victim of the situation.

So next time you notice yourself reacting with judgement – hear negative self talk, generalisations or place blame, ask yourself

“Who said?”                       “Is what I’m saying here actually true?”

“How could I view this differently?”             “Is this really how I want to react, feel and be?”

Answer with your heart, your deep inner truth, not your head. Reword any negative self talk instantly and notice the physical and emotional changes you have just created for yourself –

Breathe, free yourself from judgement and see the rainbow.

Wishing you health, harmony and happiness

Kylie and Leanne